I have a network of moms and wives that I speak with about “the joys of being a wife and mom” (please know this statement is drenched in sarcasm, lol). Anywho one of the things that I constantly hear from my fellow wives is how they tire of always feeling like they have to be the responsible one, or the planner, or the bigger person in arguments with their significant other.
Now I know how they feel as I have most definitely been there myself. There were many of times where I have gone to God and said “God, why do I have to be the one who submits or the one who has to be considerate or the one who has to do what’s right. Why can’t I be the irresponsible one or the selfish one sometimes” (please know that of course I am these things sometimes but when I go to God I am whining and feeling sorry for myself, sue me, God still loves me 🙂 )
Nonetheless one day God answered back and he simply asked me “Well who are you living for, yourself or me?” That simple question really helped me put things into perspective because as I answered the question (with the obvious, “For you God.”), God revealed to me that if I was living for myself than fine I have every right to feel like it was unfair and I could go on complaining. However, if I was living for him than I needed to suck it up and get over it, because he has called each of us in every relationship of every kind to play a role and to want to be anything other than who He has called you to be, is to be living for yourself.
So, I encourage you the next time you find yourself confronted with feelings like the ones I described above with your significant other, or any other individual you maybe in in a friendship or working relationship with, and you feel it is unfair, ask yourself “Who am I living for?”
So yesterday my son was able to do something that rarely happens for me and that is, he made me feel embarrassed. My son can be very challenging as he is well equipped in the little body God gave him with the temper and stubbornness that both me and his father both possess. (Thanks God, j/k God please don’t smite me, lol) Any who the hubs and I have been working with him as diligently as two parents can on learning to control his attitude and mouth, because he loves to talk back and feels he always has to have the last word. Well yesterday whilst picking him up from school he proceeded with his usual request to go to CPK (California Pizza Kitchen) and I proceeded with my usual big fat answer NO and told him the discussion was over after he continued to plead his case on how he never gets to go and I said my usual “well since you never get to go then you might as well not start going now”. But as usual this fool can never give it up he has to continue to plead and try to talk over me in front of the teacher making me look bad because he wasn’t following directions.
Once we got in the car I was so upset because I was tired of him making me look bad in front of his teacher with his behavior. What really bothers me even more is when people try to tell me what I should be doing to him and how I’m not doing enough as if I haven’t already tried every discipline tactic in the world in the past 5 years already, the boy is just as stubborn as a fricken mule, so unless I tie him up and tape his mouth together which is ABUSE then shewed I am running out of ideas here so I have to start circulating back through the methods.
Getting back on track, once we got in the car and he began to try to talk to me in his soft voice to….wait for it…ASK ME TO BUY HIM SOME STARBUCKS HOT WHITE CHOCOLATE….um excuse me where were you in the past 5 mins when I wanted to drop kick you because of your mouth? Dude as if, I seriously don’t even like you right now and you are my child! But it’s cool you guys because discipline tactic #257 popped in my head at that moment.
I proceeded to drive to the Starbucks and order my tall chai tea latte with soy milk, and a chocolate cinnamon bread for me and thing 2 to split. and since thing 1 is allergic to chocolate guess who couldn’t get any, ha ha sucker mommy wins the battle!
When he cried because he didn’t get anything I explained to him that for now on if he keeps talking back when adults tell him the discussion is over, and if he doesn’t begin to have a better attitude there was going to be a whole lot more of mommy and thing 2 eating and drinking while he has to watch or he will have to stay home with daddy. I am a strong believer in discipline follow up. A kid needs to understand why they are being disciplined and that you still love them even when your disciplining them. So I always do the follow up.
So, does anyone else have any stubborn as a mule kids that seem to be immune to all forms of discipline? If so what tactics have you tried I am interested to know, or hear of any stories where you won the battle.